The Wedding of Cappy & Nikki

Cappy & Nikki

October 15th 2011

Who gives this woman to be married? (Her father in full Marine dress blues did.)

Please be seated.

Welcome to the wedding of my friends Nikki & Cappy. Thank you all for traveling so far to get here. I am Patrick Melroy and these two people have asked me to stand with them on this amazing day. This is a beautiful setting and it is wonderful for Nikki and Cappy’s families to create such an amazing event. Especially the Strategic Wedding planning by Jim who may have a big future in the wedding war planning. It is every father's dream to provide the perfect wedding for his daughter, Sir, mission accomplished.

I agreed to be their officiant because I wanted the best seat in the house and I got it. They have asked all of you here today because like most things in their lives it feels better when they can share it with people who know them and love them. You are those people. This is the kind of moment you save up for, the kind of day that no matter how much you imagine it, no matter how many times you pictured it, the real thing is even sweeter and more magnificent.

This couple is honestly magnificent, they are beyond special and ridiculously good looking. This will not however be one of those fairytale romances. This is more of a epic novel slash reality show type romances. Think the Amazing Race meets Moby Dick. Nikki is convinced she knows where to find the great white whale and Cappy is listening patiently while cleaning Napoleons eye buggers away.

In a few short moments the two of you will be married. You will never again be the people you woke up as this morning. From this moment forward you will be new and different and wonderful. I envy the opportunity you will both have to grow together into your old age. You are going to make fantastic old people. You already know each other better and differently than everyone else. Being married will be the greatest adventure. My grandmother had good advice about becoming a successful married couple, she said “when you asked really old married couples who had succeeded at making a real meaningful life together, what the secret was, they always said, “”well its easy, find someone who you love a lot, (a lot a lot), and never let the other person love you harder than you love them, then you create a love surplus.

Spend everyday in love with this person. Give them everything you have, save nothing for yourself, hide nothing, if you are happy share it, if you are sad share it, if you are mad let them have that too, because if you go through everything good and bad holding it in, thinking you are protecting your lover from how you feel, you are really only protecting yourself from their love. Do not fear letting your lover in, they will not think you are a monster, they will cherish the trust. There will be no part of your feelings that the other person can reject you for, the only rejection is in not trusting them to love you unconditionally. Likewise when they give you their trust, know what to do with it. Be patient and listen and try not to exaggerate either of your fears. Fear has no place in your marriage, and the more you push it out, the more you will have room for trust, and love and admiration, and hope, and laughter. Because we do not have enough time in this world to squander it on being afraid.

The two of you have an unique opportunity, which comes along so rarely, you’ve been through the bad times, you survived. You saw the lows and here you both still stand. You lasted through every storm, you stood up against every test. I have witnessed some of these storms and what always kept them going was a deep love and respect. You took every nasty horrible thing the world could throw at you, you made decisions to save each other when each of you needed saving. That may have felt like it cost you a high price, but I assure you… and listen here… it was worth it!

Your marriage is worth it, you are worth it, I am standing here because you asked me to, I would do absolutely anything for the two of you, so would all of these people sitting behind you, so would each of these well dressed Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. None of us is here for the free food, or the dancing, we are here for you. You made this happen, not to fulfill some childhood desire to win a wedding contest, but because it is important to both of you to join forces and build a family. Thank you for letting all of us be here for the start of this part of one of the greatest stories of all time. The story of how the two of you stood at the edge, right here, where the land runs into the sea and joined hands and declared to each other that this is it, and there will never be anything more important than how you feel about each other.

This wedding is happening because these two people are stronger than most. This is not a one sided relationship, there is not one more lucky than the other. They are strong because they are together. Even when they decided to use the entire continental United States in the same way other couples might live across town from each other, they were together. There commitment to each other was like a law of physics, unbreakable and obvious. The challenges were never bigger than the two of them together. They have always been able to beat any struggle, it may have taken a loud voice or a quiet patience waiting out the frustration. It may have taken a big gesture to prove the strength of their relationship, but every time they made it work. You wouldn’t think picking out colors of napkins or paper envelopes could be so tough, but when one person is an artist and the other person is accustomed to performing precise oral surgery, well then these decisions start to feel like congress trying to agree on lunch. But each time, the problem got solved, each time they got the job done.

I have learned from these two people. I hope to keep learning from them for a long time. I hope to learn how not to give up, how to laugh when you take a hit and just step back into the fight and stay until the fighting stops and the loving begins.

These two people have come to this spot to make it official, they have invited you here to bare witness to their marriage, they will continue to provide happiness to all of us for years.

Relationships start in a variety of ways but Marriages begin in places like this. These two people began this process and have worked hard to make this day real. Not just in the planning and organizing and ordering, but in the real mental preparation to become a family. The investigation of another person on this level is a delicate matter. Building a life together, truly together, remains one of the great undertakings of contemporary life. Each of you succeeded in finding a partner who makes you happy. That should never be underestimated. Happiness can seem fleeting and fragile, but it is made infinetly more stable when your happiness resides in the person you wake up next to each morning.

(I skipped this part, because I felt it was too informal) In the hundreds of hours of pre-nuptial counseling I did with these two, AKA greasy breakfast and unhealthy tacos by the beach, I learned that they were truly meant for each other. I have watched them function as a team, and like a team they understand that not everyone has the same role. I have also seen them sacrifice for each other in ways which would make other lesser couples look silly. But on these two when they go out of their way to provide for one another, it just comes across as honest and reasonable. Cappy is a different person than Nikki. They are not two boring peas in a boring pod just hanging around, they have drive to accomplish specific individual goals. That drive will allow them to never stagnate.

In the world of improv and Jazz the number one rule is never stop playing and never say no. It is far better to respond, I don’t know how we can make a peeing buffalo but I am happy to help you try, than to live in a world where there are no giant bison scared of people yelling. (Edited this out on the spot, as it felt like I was losing the rhythm)

Trying to define either of these people with one word seems ludicris Nikki is not just a artist. She is one of the most gifted teachers I have ever seen. Cappy is not merely a Tooth Doctor. His thoughtfulness extends to ideas of business and physical exertion. I have struggled to drive up the same hills he has ridden a bike up. They both know how to observe every situation and distill the participants and strengths and weaknesses down into a useful set of pshhhsh……I could have made that!!

The only person I could imagine who could accept unconditionally the unsure life of the artist is Cappy and the person I could imagine who would take a dentist’s practice tools and create sculptures is Nikki.

SO I guess the completely unsurprising result is their marriage. Because it is obvious to everyone here, they are the perfect parents for a French BullDog with a snoring problem.

Unity forever
If anyone can show just cause why these two should not be wed, then you are crazy and should get your head examined, besides no-one is really asking you so there!
(this part got dropped at the last second)

Unity Tree: Explain
Relationships will only grow strong when rooted in a fertile supportive ground, much like trees, they can grow full and powerful, they can produce nourishing fruit, but only when they grow in good soil with deep roots. To illustrate this Nikki’s mother Remy and Cappy’s mother Ellen will each add a new batch of soil to this small tree. This is a Bessie Tree which produces tiny peaches, this tree was grown form a cutting which Ellen started from her Grandmother’s tree, Louise Overmund's tree will continue feeding generations of grandchildren. Nikki and Cappy’s job now is to find some grandchildren.

(Both mothers did an excellent job adding the soil and there were a few laughs as Nikki and Cappy dealt with patting the soil down. Later I sent the tree back on a flat bed trailer covered with hay. I think the tree made it home with them.)

The vows:
I would like everyone here to do more than just witness this wedding. I am placing a task upon you, it will remain your responsibility to watch over this marriage. You as their friends and family must stand behind them, give them strength when they need it. Give them everything they need, and take from them what they give to you. Show them kindness and protection. Guard them from evil and treat sacred what they have created in each other. Please answer this next question together in one voice with one loud “WE DO” Will you the people most important to this couple, watch over them, guide them, and keep them safe…..?

And now Napoleon's big moment. (He spent most of the ceremony staring at the bay showing his hind to the crowd. Remy had tied the rings onto Napoleon's collar so they wouldn't get lost, the knot was impossible for me to undo so I broke the string and held the rings over my head to show the crowd. Then I handed the opposite ring to each person.)

Nikki, look at this man and repeat after me. Cappy I promise it all, I will never quit, I will be your wife today and for every day after. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. Place the ring on his finger.

Cappy face this woman, and repeat after me. Nikki I choose you to be my wife. I will never quit, I will be your husband today and for every day after. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. Place the ring on her finger.

Turn and face me. Do you John Carter Sinclair take this woman to be your wife to have and to hold from this day forward? He Did.

Do you Kristin Nicole Leone take this man to be your husband to have and to hold from this day forward? She did.

I pronounce you Husband and Wife.

Cappy, for the first time ever, kiss your wife.

Ladies and gentlemen please rise with me and welcome a very new thing

It is my great honor to introduce to you Dr and Mrs. Sinclair

Presided over by The Reverend Patrick D Melroy


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