Kermit & Meg Hitched

Seat Parents - Kermit
Groom & Rev come in
Azalea ring bearer enters
Groom’s side enters
Bride’s side enters
Bride & parents enter 

Who presents this woman to be married? Her parents Tom & Karen did

Please be seated.

I am Patrick Melroy, these two people have asked me here to stand with them and guide them through this entirely too brief moment. I am proud and honored to serve as their officiant.

Ladies and Gentlemen this is the Wedding of Meg and Kermit

On behalf of the bride and groom I would like to thank all of you for the effort it took to be here today. Regardless if you traveled from near or far, being here is very important. They couldn’t do this with out you. Their Families have gone to extraordinary lengths to make today perfect for them and by all measures they have succeeded. Thank you to everyone who gave up sleep and showers to make this day a reality.

Everything this couple does is with a great deal of intention and meaning, it is with that same focused attention that they invite Wade to come forward and perform a cleansing ceremony to prepare this couple and prepare this space and to help all of us find center and focus. Wade?

Wade, Kermit's childhood friend and quarterback, performed a smudging ceremony for the bride and groom and over the entire audience. 


Seeing Bravery true bravery will hit you in the chest like the thud of a sledge hammer. Before you right now stands the true definition of bravery. Knowing admiration, striving to create for someone else, striving to make something with and for someone else. Attempting to bring wonder and marvel to another life. Finding more wonder because there is that second person there. This is their bravery, today will be their bravest feat yet.

The first time you drive your new lover into your hometown. Watching them see your history for the first time, seeing through their eyes. Guiding them to the best parts of what makes you, you. The other person accepting you or recognizing the flaws in your past and seeing those as the roadmap that got you ready for them.

Both of you were made for this, born to this, guided to this, given the chance to live like this, this is your reward, this is your privilege, this will be your responsibility this will be your pride, this will be the gold, the perfect sunset on the last perfect day of summer. This will be the way you always thought it could be. This will be a marriage.

Struggle is for sitcoms,

Poetry and performance, dancing through an existence. Choosing poetry in life, choosing the flavor of life, listening to the music of every waking moment, finding the hidden qualities in every gesture of your lover. We want to be known, we hunger to be investigated, our narcissistic nature craves observation, we thrive on someone else some external validation, some judge researching our self-created self-awareness and coming out with the determination that we are wonderful. Our feelings are liquid and slippery and move about and rarely feel so permanent as when our better our other half, proves to us… our self-worth.

We know ourselves by our lover's definitions. When we fail our lovers, those definitions are just as real. We are not bound by their opinion of us, but by their knowing of us. We know ourselves only as well as we know them. You must look at them just as closely as they look at you, do not ignore any part of them. Learn them like an anthem to your life. They will become the soundtrack, the beating of your heart, the rhythm you hear in every quiet moment. Bring yourself so close to them that you forget where you stop and they begin, make that question seem foolish. When you are apart look back and see the tether that connects your hearts. The world will never again feel big enough to break that tether.

The choice of marriage is the choice to challenge the great romances of history. You are endeavoring to join the ranks of the great legends. The idea of perfect love. You are throwing your hat into a crowded ring, which sees very few actual success stories. You will be a success story. Everyday people try to achieve the magic of the great romance. You will have to be better than some very good contenders. People who built their romance on grand platforms, filled with strife and adversity. You will build your love on the faith you have in each other.

You will have to create everyday, fight for it everyday, I’m begging you to fight for it, never give up, never give in, the world needs you to succeed, we need you to succeed, I need you to succeed, all of us need to believe that it’s possible to love this big forever and always, you are being counted on by very important people to win at this, most importantly you are being counted on by each other. 

Walk into the wind, ignore the signs that say “go-back”- take on the dark shadows of doubt which will be cast over your path. You will have to shine the light of your coupleness brightly and often, blowing apart the sad scary times and instead make music and then dance your way down the path. Frightening away the detractors and trolls who might accost you. You are taking the next big, next huge, next planet sized step. You are ready, you are effortlessly, magnificently ready.

I stand in awe of you.

They came here to tell each other something… On their mantle sits a thick book of their paper communications, real objects typed and/or written by hand, proof of their love. This ceremony is more of that proof. They are here to prove to one another, that they mean it, that they meant all of it, that they will keep meaning it no matter what. This ceremony is like that moment on a cliff above a river, two kids holding hands daring each other to jump. This ceremony is both of them leaning out curling their toes over the edge, regripping the others hand, and then leaping into the open air, gliding in slow motion through the air, landing in the fast moving water. This moment is just  that exciting, that waiting moment before you are free of the rock and flying through the air, and then plunging into the water and then staying under for just a second longer than your lungs can handle, a completely quiet moment and then popping up through the surface cackling and spitting water looking into your partners eyes and seeing that same joy of survival and thrill.

Look at each other like you have never looked before, bride see groom, groom see bride. This is the last moment you will be like this, the last moment you will be this far apart. He will never be this far from you again. She will never be outside again. Lock this person into your heart. See each other for what you are. Take in the detail of this person. This is the moment to fully absorb the idea of this person.

This person is a big concept, this person is the one, the only, the long awaited, the always anticipated, the sure thing, you have always known you wanted and never fully believed you would find. Allow yourself to feel the ownership, the privilege, the rights you are gaining right now. You are being given access on a level you have never experienced before. This person in front of you is giving you themselves. He is not just agreeing to this, she is not just throwing in with you because you are stable, you are both putting in everything, everything of importance every bit of yourself, every scratch and scar and bag and every laugh and cheer, and passion.

Kermit this woman is asking for something you have never given before. Megan this man is asking for something you have never shared with anyone. The two of you will exchange today the keys to an entirely new life. You need to understand the gravity of this moment. Both of you must use your core to do this. Feel this in your guts, know this in your heart, believe it with your brain, let it tingle your skin and curl your toes, its really happening, he’s really here and she really just walked down that aisle into your arms and you made it, you both beat the odds, you defeated the complications, together with each other and because of each other.  He’s doing this for you, she’s doing this for you, you are both here because, anything else stopped making sense the moment she asked and he said yes. After that it was all over except picking the music.  

You must both drop all of the defenses right here right now. This is the most honest moment of your life to this point. You are marrying this person. You are laying yourself completely open to each other and everything you thought was you is about to change. You will never be on your own again, even at a distance this person will matter, this person will count, this person will have a say, this person will have your ear this person will give a damn. This person will never stop giving a damn, this person is now and forever more, this person is your biggest fan, your biggest admireier, the president and founder of your fan club, the ceo of your success and the unstopping defender of your values, they will stand behind you whenever you need them, on any subject at any time with out question, they will stand next to you when that is what you need with no doubt and pure pride, they will stand in front of you with a magnificent fury of protection against any threat, standing between you and the fight, facing down every menace to your person and your heart and that… they will do before you even think to ask. This person is not just your partner, this person is your everything anything anytime right now lets go stop thinking about it, we don’t need bags, this is all the way and the best thing ever.

Next Day

For twelve long minutes you will stand in front of your families, in front of your friends, for twelve minutes you will stand here with me. Use this time to know you are changing, enjoy it, take in the air, feel it in your lungs, feel the ground under your feet shift, feel how close you are to this person, look around, see these people dressed in their best clothes for you, look at these people who have decided to see you at your most magnificent, you are now presently functioning at your most magnificent, it would be hard for me to believe you have ever been this great before right now. The air is full of you, the sun is bright for you today, everyone everywhere who is not here right now is missing out on seeing two people completing themselves. We are saddened by all of those who couldn’t be here, friends, family, generations of people who helped make today possible. You were both given so much to make it here, you both took those gifts with grace and gratitude, gifts of wisdom and guidance, gifts of belief in your abilities. People have always believed in the immense potential of you. We are all here because we believe totally in you both and those that aren’t here don’t believe any less in you. You should know how lucky we all feel not just to be here, but to even know you. Chances happen, accidents present themselves, moments of brief surprise and unexpected opportunity, we are all here because of a chance encounter and the extraordinary bravery to try, the amazing risk, the unthinkable timing, and baffling luck of the two of you. Most stories begin quietly or without a clean concise start, most stories just turn into stories after some time formed over months and years of conversation. Most relationships start in simple ways which get inflated into history. Most people are boring, the two of you however. Wouldn’t know boring if it sat on you. I am going to stop saying the word boring because I know both of you don’t know the definition of the word. Just believe me when I say Boring is a state of being many people experience but which you were not built for, you are the opposite of boring. You are both built for adventure, built for gambling.

Will she talk to me, will he turn around and come back, will she actually meet me later? Yes she did, yes he did, yes you did. You made it here because you were both willing to fight very hard for the chance to be here, for the privileges of being here. You are both here because you are in LOVE with a capital L and a capital O and a capital V and a capital E. Some people get the capital L but rarely all four. The two of you do something I usually only see in old people who have been in love for you know like seventy five years. You talk about each other when they aren’t there and that’s not the weird part but when they walk back in the room, you keep going. You are blunt and honest with your love for each other. You don’t dish it out in pieces or portions, you give it all for better or worse, if you like some behavior you praise it, if you are unsure you challenge it, but either way you give love, because love is not connected to chores or tidiness or which couch to buy, or paychecks. Love is attached to him, its attached to her and it matters not at all what his credit score is, and not at all what grade she got. What matters is the knowledge and the real feeling of this other person’s love. Imagine in your mind who you would want to tell first, who you would want to brag to, bring to show, think in your mind who you think of when you wish someone were here to see this.

I can stand here for hours and give you examples of what you already know, you love this person and nothing will keep you from making them your spouse. I can illustrate for you the subtle details of your relationship and give you analogies of past successes that you should strive for, but you don’t need that, you got hitched a long time ago in the middle of the badlands on a day you least expected at time you had no control over. You’ve been hitched from the moment you met, whether you knew it yet or not is really inconsequential. This wedding is just making official what has been true for a long time. Megan he is yours, and Kermit you had her from the moment you turned that bike around. But you knew that already, you just wanted to make sure we all knew it too.

Let me prove to you we do.

I am asking everyone here to stand, rise up and look at this couple. I am tasking all of you, watch over this couple, love this couple with everything you have. Fight for them not because they deserve it, they do, fight for them because doing so is what makes us a great people. Believe in them, challenge them, guide them, hold them, cherish them, feed them, and let them do all of this for you in return. Please answer my next question with one loud “we do”, Do you the community of Megan and Kermit promise to Love and protect this couple today and everyday after?....

Thank you please have a seat.

This is simply a small portion of the people you already know and will come to know, these people and everyone to come after will always support you, because you deserve it completely.

This is the moment in which you will say your vows to one another.

The rings, Azalea,  Building a family, choosing very carefully your members, making a circle.

The couple has written vows they wish to share.
The bride and groom hand wrote them on cards I held for them and then handed over at the right time. 
What follows is what they wrote for and with each other in the desert recently.

I will meet you each day with my full self. I stand here to commit my spirit, my mind, my body to who you are to our growth together as partners and to creating our family. Our circle is ever giving, ever receiving, building through our commitment to feed ourselves, each other and our love together. I live to hold you mindfully with gentleness, warmth, will, devotion and love.
Meg place this ring on Kermit’s finger and vice versa.

Do you Kermit Ryan Graber take this woman to be your wife to love completely forever? He did!
Do you Megan Judith Mertaugh take this man to be your husband to love completely forever? She did!

It is my great honor and privilege, On behalf of your family, your friends, and the state of Michigan to pronounce you Husband and Wife.

Kermit, for the first time in your life, kiss your Wife.

Ladies and Gentleman for the first time anywhere ever, I would like to present to you a very new thing, Mr. & Mrs. Mertaugh Graber.

After the parents leave Please join the couple in the barn. If you are able-bodied please grab your chair if you are double abled please grab two chairs.

Thank you.

Presided over by the Reverend Patrick D Melroy on August 25th 2012 at Snow Moon Ranch Michigan. 
Photo By David Gorshein


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